Pre-incarntion interview 1 – Tales from the Bardo
April 21, 2009, 8:02 pm
Filed under: Conversations - interview 1


Jacintha was on her way home, when she saw a young woman sitting by the by the side of the road. Her eyes were dull and empty.

She looked like a being who had lost her soul.

“Where do you want go to? It’s getting dark now.” Jacintha asked her.
The girl replied, “I don’t have a home. I don’t have anywhere I belong to anymore.”
Jacintha took the girl’s hand, “come with me to Madame’s place and stay the night. It’s dangerous to be alone outside.”

They had to walk up a long winding path until they reached an huge manor house, at the top of the mountain ridge overlooking the Sisovane desert. Once inside they took off their shoes.

Instead of doors the house had layers of red curtains with  Burmese floral patterns.

Madame Pickwick parted the last of the thick velvet curtains and motioned for her visitor to enter.
At the far end of a huge hall they saw a lady sitting on an armchair looking out over a desert from the .
She looked calm as a monk.

She was sipping rose tea.

“Madame, we have a visitor,” Jacintha called out.
“Hello Hella, I had a feeling that Jacintha would bring a visitor today,” Madame replied.
“How do you know my name?”
“I just feel it when I look at your pearl necklace.”

“So what can I do for you ?” Madame Pickwick asked once they had settled down comfortably.

“Well you see, I’m not sure. I feel lost”

“You are not sure about what ?”

“Where I want to go and what I want to tackle first.”

“Let me have a look dear – may I ?”

Hella held out her hand, a small translucent pearl shimmered on her palm. It was the quintessential essence of her last incarnation. She had not yet strung it to her necklace.

If you looked into its depths carefully you could see a swirling movement of different colours and feelings inside. And if you looked for too long you could forget where you were and you would relive and experience the history of Hella’s last incarnation.

Madame Pickwick cast her mind over the pearl.

She avoided the heavy pull of the trauma vortices with practiced ease.

Her experienced mind saw that there were quite a few things in Hella’s life structure that needed attending to.

She sighed inwardly, careful to keep her private feelings from spilling over and registering on her visitor.

She had a gut feeling that this one would be a tough one. ‘I don’t know why though’, she thought.

How to break it to Hella gently though ?

Well, Madame Pickwick sighed again, that was her job after all, wasn’t it ? To advise souls how to structure their next incarnation in the best way.

She wondered if it might not be time she visited someone else for that kind of thing herself, she felt those little niggly tell tale signs within herself.

With an effort she focussed her attention back on Hella.

Time to carefully evaluate Hella’s last incarnation.

She placed the pearl gently on a tripod made of an alloy of gold and quicksilver, took out her magnifier and let her consciousness dive into it.

Diving inside anyone’s lifetime pearl always entailed some danger. There was no way to avoid that.

The trick to lifetime pearl diving was to keep one’s awareness outside the pearl even while moving around inside it. Some of the inexperienced life time dispatchers had lost themselves in their others’ lifetime pearls. It was a hell of a job to get them back in once piece. Once they did, they would have their licence suspended until they had done more training and a few more incarnations themselves.

Messy, not something she wanted to go through right now right now.

Once inside, Hellas lifetime was not especially difficult.

She was pleased to see that Hella had completed nearly all the basics, lessons. She has a good solid foundation, for the next  ones.

Providing advice on incarnations followed the three basic steps of

1)      reconnaissance

2)      unravelling

3)      presenting “the menu”.

Each stage required a different talent.

Reconnaissance was easy in Hella’s case. The unravelling was the challenge.

Unravelling was a little like unravelling a knotted ball of wool.

Luckily she had always enjoyed untangling knots as a child. It was the reason she’d been careful to include weaving and dressmaking in all her own incarnations whenever possible. After all, she might as well prepare for her job back here, too many souls were focussed on the next world, on incarnation in a physical body, – forgetting the here and now.

Personally she thought it was overrated. Incarnation was damn hard work, she knew that, no point to rush too much. Madame Pickwick was proud of her ability to provide balanced advice. Better to spend a little more time researching and finding the right incarnation, than to rush off to something you didn’t really want to be in.

One carefully planned and thought out incarnation is worth 10 rush jobs – she always said.

‘But then that is my job’, she thought, I’m bound to be a little biased, she chuckled to herself.

“What do you see ?” Hella asked.

Madame held up a hand, asking her to wait. She was concentrating deeply. Pearl diving and keeping an anchor on the outside was hard enough, but communicating at the same time, was a bit too much.

Hella settled back and waited.

Once Madame Pickwick was done, she looked at her visitor.

“Ok, I’ve had a good look around. What I’ll do now…”

“I know, I know, you’ll present me with a menu and some recommendations.”

Madame nodded, “yes.”

“I know this is silly, but I really just want to meet Justin again. Just show me the bits that get me back with him.”

‘Ah, so this was it, that was what her gut feeling had told her to beware of,’ Madame Pickwick took a deep breath and sat back, sipping on hot tea.

“Like that is it ?”

“Yes,” Hella nodded vigorously, “I just want to be with him again.”

Madame took another deep breath, without taking her eyes off Hella.

“You know the rules of course ?”

“Yes, of course I know the rules,” she looked across at Madame Pickwick, “that’s why I came to you, because I want you to help me get this through the IB.”

“I see,” Madame Pickwick smiled, and nodded in understanding. The IB was the Incarnation Board, they would ask tough questions and they were known to put their foot down and stop you if didn’t manage to convince them, or if you had taken on way too much to handle.

“Have you looked at the menu with anyone yet ?”

“No, you are the first.”

‘So, she plans to try others until she gets what she thinks she wants,’ Madame thought.

“Well that is always the first step, no matter what else you want to do,” she said, turning aside to  pull up a screen.

Once the screen was in place she projected her impressions onto it, showing the labyrinth of Hella’s pearl as a simplified map, with as many paths unravelled as possible.

Hella watched and studied the map.

“Could you show it from the side please,” she asked, pointing to her right.

“Sure,” Madame Pickwick had pretty much taken in all of Hella’s life and she projected it from the angle outsiders such as Justin would have seen it from.

… be continued…. Stay tuned for the next instalment…. J


A place where money cannot live
April 10, 2009, 8:29 pm
Filed under: Conversations, Conversations2, Uncategorized | Tags: ,


Madame Pickwick looked out over the rocky ledge of her quarters.

Sand stretched into the distance as far as the eye could see.

The atmosphere in Zephyron was flimsy, so thin in fact, that it was possible to observe the other planets of the solar system. Huge round spheres floated past at regular intervals.

“This is my friend Ulla, she is here with me to ask something of you Madame.”

“Ask.” Madame Pickwick looked at the outline of the person standing next to Siri.

“Am I dreaming ?”

“You are, but you are dreaming true.”

“I would like to have a child. I have sought to have child but I have never fallen pregnant. Can you help ?”

“I may help, if it is permitted, and if you are willing to pay the price.”

“What shall I pay you with ?

You don’t use money do you ?”

“No we don’t have any use for such things.”

“How then shall I pay for you help ?”

“What can you offer in exchange ?”

“I do not understand, Ulla replied.”

“Then you are wise, child. As in your world, here we also value work, we value service. Only we do not measure it in time, nor do we use numbers to place a value on service, for how you can you measure that which is given from the heart ?”

She smiled at Ulla.

“Don’t worry my child.

We only take what is offered in love, and offered freely.

You know enough to understand that an exchange is required in all things.”

At this point Madame Pickwick left the room.

She returned after a while and smiled at Ulla.

It is permitted, though it remains to be seen if you are willing and able to pay the price, she said.

Ulla waited and said nothing. She looked out over the desert.

“What do you want to offer in exchange ?” the Madame asked.

Ulla thought for a while.

“What do people usually give ?”

“There is NO ‘usual’, it depends what you would LIKE to exchange. The greater the gift, the greater the exchange.”

Madame poured tea into tiny cups for each of them.

“In your world, you feel that giving diminishes you and you want to give as little as you can and get as much as you can.”

Siri smiled and looked at Ulla.

Ulla looked at her friend.

“You are right,” she said.

“You told me things were different here.”

The Madame nodded at them and gestured for them to feel free to drink.

“You can give as little or as much as you like, my child. We will not think less of thee for giving little, nor more of thee for giving much. It beeth thine heart that thou dealeth with.”

Ulla hesitated, “I am curious, do some people give nothing ?”

” ‘Curiousity’ I cannot answer, however should it be thine true question you may obtain a reply.”

Ulla shook her head.

“It does not matter then,” she said.

Siri and Madame Pickwick looked at each other and smiled.

In a small hesitant voice Ulla asked: “Do I have to loose an eye, or a leg in exchange ?”

“No my child, unless this is what you truly believe and want.

You may even give in exchange that which would be called ‘success’ in your world.”

“‘Success’ can be a payment ? I mean a fair exchange ?”

“And too much money can be a punishment,” Madame added.

Ulla shook her head in puzzlement.

“What if I choose success, how can that be a fair exchange ?”

Now Madame Pickwick in her turn shook her head slowly and stood up. She put hand on Ulla’s shoulder and walked with her to the very edge of the cliff.

They looked down. It was a long long way to the bottom, so far that the rocks looked blurred. The Madame picked up a small rock and threw it down. Soon it was lost to sight. They waited. Eventually a tiny dry clicking sound reached them.

“Are you afraid ?” Madame asked Ulla ?


“Why not ?”

“I feel I am safe.”

“Even at the very edge of this precipice ?”


“You feel you are safe, and you are safe, because you have not asked ‘what if ?’. You do not ask ‘what if I should fall ?’ or ‘what if I should be pushed ?’.  You see, I do not answer ‘what if’ questions here.

‘What if’ leads to fear, and wastes energy.

There is a never ending infinite supply of ‘what if’s’. If you truly desire to know then give a fair exchange and find out for yourself.

Then you WILL know what happens if the ‘what if’ becomes the ‘what is’.”

Siri spoke then, “it is time to return, in her world she awakens.”

Madame Pickwick walked back to the table and sat in her chair. “I will see thee again, then we will talk more of thine request and its exchange. Take thine time my dear child.”

They bowed and Madame returned the bow in kind.

“A most interesting child,” she murmured to herself when they had disappeared.


A few nights later Siri and Ulla returned again.

“May I ask you something ?” Ulla said.

“Certainly”, Madame Pickwick gestured for them to sit down and poured tea for all three of them.

“In exchange for a child, I would like to give ten years of my life.”

The Madame looked at her and continued sipping her tea.

“Siri, would you please explain ?”

Siri looked surprised but then spoke: “You are thinking of a punishing sacrifice. We don’t want to accept that from you. Can I suggest something else ?”

Ulla nodded.

“You could give, your time to raise the child in love and care, and you could give all resentment and unhappiness in sacrifice.”

Now Ulla looked surprised. “How can joy and contentment be a sacrifice ? A sacrifice should be something pleasant I give up, and something unpleasant I accept.”

“It may be those things, at some part of a person’s development. For you, this is something to leave behind.”

“But joy and love and a job well done as a sacrifice ?” Ulla shook her head in astonishment.

“You may have to give up a career, you may have to give up resentment and anger.”